(Just press refresh)
0min: Probably a bit nippy in Kiev. I’m doing my best to keep warm with the central heating on and a cup of tea in my hand….
1min: Apparently Ronaldo is ‘fresh as a daisy’. Smashing news from ITV.
2min: Not too many Utd players wearing gloves that I can make out. A few Kiev players feeling the cold though. Anderson and O’Shea as a central midfield partnership is more likely to get the knees knocking though, let’s be fair….
5min: Arsenal are 1 up. Fabregas. He’s almost becoming prolific….frightening.
8min: Ooooh…slightly risque comment about women being the scourge of football. Now he’s talking about Africans in the Kiev team….blimey, chill out a small bit.
9min: Ronaldo’s been taken down. Free kick: Giggs swings it in and FERDINAND IS THERE WITH A BULLET HEADER. 1-0 UNITED…NO CHANCE FOR THE KEEPER THOUGH ABOUT THREE UNITED PLAYERS WERE QUEUING UP TO HAVE A GO. POOR MARKING. UNITED TAKE THE LEAD!
13: So as things stand, United and Arsenal will be in terrific positions after three games. Both sides will almost have qualified and will have a couple of games to rest players and blood some more younger squad members
15: Not much going on in the game, United look comfortable. Kiev getting a bit of the ball but struggling to do anything with a free-flowing United team switching positions and tackling back efficiently…
18: Ronaldo running at the defence, slips in Wes Brown, HIS CROSS FINDS WAYNE ROONEY! 2-0. ANOTHER PLAYER WHO CAN’T STOP SCORING! TOO EASY FOR UNITED.
21: Nice ball from Anderson, cross-field to Ronaldo, beautiful ball from the Portugese to find Rooney, should be 3-0, saved by the keeper, TEVEZ! Blocked down by the defender’s face. Tevez sportingly suggests we should stop the game so we can remould the poor lad’s face.
24: Kiev beginning to attack a little. Comes to nothing though as the right-winger tries a shot that screams ‘none of your fancy stuff’…..
26: Arsenal are two up, Hleb / o.g. seems to be the consensus….
29: United looking classy in possession. Tevez with a lovely off-load and they’re almost in for a third when Giggs bends a ball around the back to Rooney, his cut-back scrapped clear by Kiev. United’s strength coming from their defensive setup though, Vidic and Ferdinand killing everything at the back….
30: Diakhate is first in the book. Tevez goes past him so the defender sticks his shoulder in his face.
31: There’s a shot of the Kiev players: absolutely no interest in the game, just lamping the United bench to see if they can see Scholesy….
33: Anderson chases back well to concede a corner when the Kiev forward could’ve been in. Corner swung in AND RINCON IS THERE WITH A FREE HEADER AT THE BACK POST! 2-1. DIDN’T SEE THAT ONE COMING BUT HOW DID HE SCORE FROM THERE. Ferguson not looking impressed. United should be out of sight….
35: ROONEY’S IN! NO! SAVED BY THE KEEPER!
36: First goal United have conceded in the Champions League so far this season.
39: Tevez scampers down the right wing, cross is well defended by the last man who clears…United are coming again though. Tevez finds Rooney, he’s too far wide though, O’Shea takes a touch! Saved. Should have swung at it first time!
40: Now Giggs on the right, great ball, EXPERTLY HEADED HOME BY RONALDO. NO DEFENCE. RONALDO TAKES HIS TIME AND STEERS IT HOME. 4 GOALS IN 4 STARTS FOR RONALDO AND UNITED ARE IN OMINOUS FORM….
41: ARSENAL 3-0 UP. Anything you can do…etc….Theo Walcott makes it three for Arsenal, who you reckon will score more?
42: Hard to believe this is the away leg really. What price Utd hitting double figures at Old Trafford? Kiev are awful and look like they’ve given up already…..
HALFTIME: EASY. Very very easy for United. And Arsenal. Rangers-Barcelona 0-0.
48: Anderson nearly makes it four with a left-footed stab that ricochets off the post….
49: Hleb makes it four for Arsenal, United trailing….
52: Kiev’s keeper has got a knee in the head from his own player..hold-up as a result…
54: Walcott makes it 5-0 for Arsenal.
59: CORREA WITH A FREE-KCIK FOR KIEV…OOOHH. WHISKER AWAY!
60: 6-0 Arsenal, Fabregas. Getting bored.
61: Kiev laying siege to the United goal. Two corners. Blimey. Alright i’m clutching at straws here….
62: Kiev with a penalty shout after a lovely ball over the top. Looks like a spotter to me, Ferdinand was grasping at the striker after losing the direction of the ball. Kiev hard done by. Still, at least they’re making a a game of it. Arsenal might bring Wenger on for a cameo….
68: PENALTY UNITED. RONALDO SCORES FROM THE SPOT. CONTROVERSIAL AWARD FROM THE REFEREE. HE INITIALLY GAVE A FREE-KICK BUT TEVEZ’ PROTESTS FORCED A WORD WITH THE ASSISTANT WHO FANCIED THE SPOTTER. SEEMS HARSH. UNITED HAVE CLOSED THE GAP ON ARSENAL TO TWO…
70: Unfortunately that’s where the commentary ends. If Arsenal or United concede six/three goal leads, my sincere apologies…..
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